An Inevitable BestSeller
by Sara47Q
Summary: Baby brothers are awesome. Until they actually get here, that is. Part 10 of the Crazy is the New Normal 'verse. Darcy/Tony/Steve


"Da-ad," Maggie said, in the way only four year olds can.

"What is it, baby?"

"Can we send Jamie back?"

He laughed. "No, baby brothers are forever."

"But I don't _want_ a baby brother."

"You seemed pretty excited about a baby brother last week."  
"That was before. He's BORING. And Papa doesn't have time for me now. AND all Mama does is sleep."

"Babies are boring, honey. But he won't be a baby forever. And Mama won't be tired forever."

* * *

They'd made the decision that Maggie should have a brother or sister fairly easily. They were all only children, and none of them wanted that for their daughter.

When the press had first caught wind of the new Stark baby, speculation had been all over the map. Many thought that Darcy was a hired surrogate, and others thought exactly what Darcy had said they would- that he was a playboy and dragged her name through the mud, labeling her the "superhero slut" who wasn't content with just one and had helped defile a National Icon.

He'd never seen Steve look so angry, especially when they heard the ones about Darcy getting pregnant on purpose for access to the Stark fortune.

Tony had just laughed, saying they obviously didn't know any of them, especially Darcy. Then he'd sicced Pepper on them and they'd mostly quieted down.

Tony still couldn't believe he was settled down enough to be wearing a ring that matched ones worn by two other people and that they'd had a couple of kids. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd gotten drunk. Steve was way too good of an influence on him.

Little James Roger Stark looked exactly like Steve (no Stark before him had ever been that blonde). However, it hadn't become completely apparent who's genes Maggie shared until a morning when she was two and a half and they'd woken up to find that she'd dismantled the toaster and universal remote and built a robot. When they were discussing having a second baby, Darcy had decreed that it was Steve's turn. He was the best parent of the three of them and deserved to have a baby that shared his gene pool. Steve said he didn't really care, but Tony and Darcy had insisted, and he'd willingly participated in the "let's make a baby" sex, which wasn't really all that different than their regular sex, except for the positions being more deliberate and less spur of the moment.

Her pregnancy had been very different, though, almost from the beginning. Maggie had been so easy, but with Jamie she'd ended up on bed rest for the last two months. She's spent a lot of the time curled up with Maggie, reading books and pretending she knew what Maggie was talking about when she showed her the little projects she had been working on with Tony. Darcy wasn't a girl who liked to be out of the loop, so she was usually set up in the Avengers main living room, which had the added bonus of lots of people to wait on her.

* * *

He went over to wash his hands and change out of his oil-stained shirt. "How about we go see how Mama, Papa, and Jamie are doing?"  
She huffed but agreed with an, "Ok."  
They walked down to the bedroom and he opened the door quietly. Darcy was propped up, feeding the baby.

"Hey! Good timing! The munchkin is finishing up his afternoon snack and then we get to go on a walk! How does that sound, Maggie-moo?" Darcy popped Jamie off and handed him over to Steve for burping.

Maggie climbed up and put her hands on her Mama's cheeks. "Can we go to the park?"

Darcy rubbed Maggie's nose with her own. "Not today. But I can probably make it down to the kitchen. Uncle Bruce said he'd make pancakes for dinner if we wanted."

"PANCAKES!"

All three parents chuckled as Jamie started crying. "Guess it's time to learn some volume control, squirt," Tony said, ruffling Maggie's hair.

"Are you sure you want to go all the way downstairs?"

She looked at Steve seriously, "Bruce said that even though he doesn't eat it, he will make bacon."

"He sure knows how to lure you out. Do we have something to worry about?"

Maggie held her arms up to Tony and he picked her up. "Daddy," she said, with a serious look on her face, "bacon is meat candy."

Steve laughed quietly, having settled Jamie down. "She surely is your daughter, Darcy."

He set the baby down on the bed and helped her stand up. "As if there was ever any doubt!"

When she was on her feet, Maggie took the opportunity to monopolize Steve's attention. "Papa! My turn!" She held her arms out and he took her. Tony picked up Jamie, settling him on one shoulder and offering his arm to Darcy. She took it gratefully.

"I wonder how other parents do it?" she asked as they got off the elevator.

"Do what?" Steve asked, setting Maggie down so she could run ahead to the kitchen.  
"All of this. Be parents. Three is the perfect number of parents. I just wonder how other people do it."

"Maybe you should write a book," Tony suggested.

"It would be a best seller! The Superhero Slut's Guide to Parenting."

Steve looked down at her. "I hate it when you call yourself that."

Darcy continued on as if uninterrupted. "Of course, I always assumed my tell-all best seller would be about banging an intern in the oval office when I was President. Not about co-parenting with superheroes."

"You had oval office ambitions?" Tony looked surprised.

"Duh. I have a degree in Political Science. I was going to change the fucking world."

"What happened?"  
"New Mexico. Now I change the world behind the scenes. I still have hopes for oval office sex, though. I mean, I'm married to Captain America. It's practically required that we fuck on National Landmarks, like the Presidential Seal."

Steve looked slightly scandalized but Tony laughed. "Heal up, honey, and I will do my best to make that happen."

They high fived while Steve shook his head.

They walked into the kitchen to find Maggie helping Bruce finish up the pancakes.

"Mama, Uncle Bruce is making us dinosaur pancakes!"

She sat at the table with Clint, and Natasha, who had been lured out by the smell of bacon. "Those are the best kinds!"

Later, as she laid in bed with Tony and Steve she said, "I'm really liking this parenting book idea. I bet if we got Steve to pose topless holding Jamie, we'd sell A LOT of copies. I know it makes me gooey to see it."  
"Hey!" Tony looked down at the baby sleeping on his chest.

She patted his hand. "You make me gooey, too. But everyone's already seen you topless."

"Touche."


End file.
